By The Voices
1) Flowers are great, right? No, of course not. Flowers are the reason that hundreds of eyes are watering, thousands are breaking out in hives, and millions of sneezes. YOU’LL RUE THE DAY YOU BLOOMED FLOWERS!
2) Realizing that this is the month where you do the dance unit in gym and understanding that your fears as a child of having to slow dance with someone else were totally irrational, and that all you really have to do is a body roll.
3) PROM. Literally the only thought on the minds of those people that are going. For everyone else, it just seems like an overrated hassle of spending money for a couple hours of dancing and food.
4) AP Exams a this month and all you can do is cry, hyperventilate, freak out, nap and repeat. Cry, hyperventilate, freak out, nap and repeat. Cry, hyperventilate, freak out, nap and repeat…
5) But let’s talk about Prom again for a second, do you know how crazy it is to figure out just who you’re going with, or lack thereof. It’s okay though, if you don’t find a date just tell your cat all about it, I’m sure you can always bring Mr. Paws as a backup date.
6) What’s with all the couples? Did everyone suddenly think, “Hmm, today I’m going to go find a significant other.” Because if so, you did not receive this notice.
7) Everyone is taking the standardized tests this month, even though they’re offered almost every other month of the year. It’s cool, everyone likes being super stressed in May. It’s a social norm.
8) Nailing the Promposal 101:
-Taco Pinata, filled with actual tacos
-Rolling a potato at them with “Prom?” carved on the side
-Frozen inspired silly bands because there is so much yes in that
-Forget the puppy, get a Siberian tiger to really impress
9) Envisioning yourself as the protagonist of a rap music video (i.e. making it rain, wearing fly outfits, chilling with the homies) as soon as you remember that fourth quarter is only EIGHT WEEKS (Plus two for testing, but whatever.)
10) Trying to remind yourself that you can make it through May. It is, after all, only thirty days long. How hard can it be to make it through thirty days. You got this…maybe. Just stay in bed for the entirety of May. That’s a better option.